it's been 9 months since you passed away

The second Mothers Day without a mom. I also have had the occasional feather float down into my hand but the big one for me is butterflies. My wife and I divorced about a year after he passed. That loss, and pain will ease, and of course we break down and cry. I lost my amazing husband to colon cancer 2 years ago. How Cats Grieve and Cope With Loss | Hill's Pet It was after the first week that I began to fear she wouldnt make it. Every day is a struggle doing better with Councellor,but I miss him sooooo much But now I know how bad her struggle was and wish that I would have seen it as that and had more compassion and understanding instead of worrying about how it affected me i should have seen how it was affecting her. what I had with Glenna. She had brain hematoma initially, she got sepsis after a month being in a coma. In the first year after her death, I felt her presence twice, and heard her voice in a dream. I feel like Im going insane. My deep faith in God has sustained me and believe me this is a work in progress. I feel guilty that it doesnt; as if I am hanging on to the grief. The stories Ive read on this site are more in line with my experiences. im old hahahaha Its been two years as of June 2 that I lost my husband, soulmate and best friend. The pain will ease, it never goes but you learn to live a new life and found growth. Its 2 years since I lost my husband n best friend. Fighting for our lives, our very existence. He was losing weight so we went to the doctor on Friday they did a CAT scan the doctor came back in with the results said he was full of cancer and all of his organs all of his main organs . Its only at night when I lay in bed missing him holding me. Top 38 Since You Passed Away Quotes & Sayings Death Anniversary Messages. Her not being here Its true, I feel relief reading similar experiences. I want to hear the sound of his voice, feel his arms around me, kiss me and tell me he loves me. Been there done that wore his t shirt . That is a revealing statement and I think your church, which is a family, will prove to be a lifesaver. "It's been a year since you passed and your presence is always missed.". i could be just reading a magazine and something pops up she used to like. You are with me. Don fought so hard with what strength that he had but cancer took him from me. How to Recover and Find Strength after Losing a Parent - Tiny Buddha The loss of a special animal companion can leave devastating heartache and most people will suffer in silence out of fear of not being taken seriously just because the loss was not a human loss. My best friend, and my doctor, said I should be over her death by now. Just a few months away we both believe in God and his Universe. Now Im on my second year this is August 2018. Losing my mother was horrendous . My husband lived only 6mos after drs found CNS lymphoma in his brain. You move on , try to meet new people. Sometimes I feel its the house we lived in thats keeping me from moving on so I am selling it and getting a smaller place. I hate my life and wish to die daily. Take it from an old guy. that is life. The finality of it all. I was her care taker 24/7, she was also my best friend and constant companion. There are no winners, are there? The fact remains I just dont know what to do most of the time. is worse the waves of gut wrenching I lost my husband 20 months ago. Grief and death is so hard and it is nice to have a community of supporters. Its been a year and 5 months since I lost my husband. But.. Every day I beat myself up thinking about what I should have and could have done to help her in her passing. Valetines. But without them especially losing Kimberly so suddenly I went into flight mode making funeral arrangements this time solo. I lost my husband 2 years ago. In February he will have been gone for two years, and while I have accepted the fact that he is gone, I feel so hollowed out. Love to all i feel your pain. He was the most funny outgoing person in my life and I miss everything about him. Maybe I am afraid that I would one day forget the sound of my dads voice, his smiles and stories. I will never be fine that was my baby. I still cry most days and miss him more than words can say. Thank God for His presents in my life along with my Two Dogs that my husband loved so much. She was crying every day on the way to and from work. He was 13 years older than me but it never mattered until he got congestive heart failure. He battled his fibrosis for around eleven years, never giving up and walking the dog faithfully every day until this horrible illness got a final grip on him. I have moments of happiness with my grandkids, but when they go home and Im alone, I just want to disappear. then finally she got the all clear and told she was a survivor. Cancer was the thief that stole him from me and has forever changed my life. I have forgotten all his faults which irritated me and as others say, would love to put my arms around him, welcome him home, massage his feet etc. He was diagnosed with GBS syndrome. l lost my life wife of 52 years 11 months ago after a long battle from heart disease for fifteen years she fought to stay by my side but the battle was to hard ,l feel so lost with out her some days are worst than others ,lonely nights . Ive been bombarded by e-harmony and match.com. Ive had cancer & this is far more painful on a daily basis. I really dont like others to judge. I swim a lot and do Yoga and Mindfullness. I felt silly doing it, but she probably had a point. I agree with those who say the second year and beyond are even worse. Our bond of love was so deep and our lives so inextricably intertwined that a part of me died that day too. There is NO GETTING OVER IT!!!!! I look back and I see I am better, but not altogether well. The death of a child is brutal, messy, cruel. I live with grief and depression everyday. She deserves a life filled with hope and happy times. Ive always been in control of my life & now Im not. I still feel that and Ive found my self seeking for that feeling that only a mother can give. They are 53 years old 50 years old and 47. Always feeling so empty, so alone. But i have hope it will get better. I have pictures of my late husband around the house I still miss him and so so loved him. I needed to move on. Well all be reunited with our loved ones one day. One day we will be together again. I too lost the love of my life after 47yrs of marriage. I fully intend to carry this out sometime within 18-24 months. The federal government had sent stimulus payments to about 1.1 million dead people totaling nearly $1.4 billion. Over the next few months I was in the hospital myself six times (not COVID related, though.) I stayed in pjs all weekend and left my phone off. Now, the black pebbles outweigh the pearls, but there are shining days and I pray and am sure for you, and for me, the beautiful pearls will return, one by one. So I dont open to her, she has a lot of anger, which doesnt help me at all. The grief process has been awful but I am working with it. Sleep offers solace, music can be painful, but books are my refuge. How do I pick myself up. Take one day at a time, keep your own pace, and take care of yourself the way your spouse would if only they were here thats a great way to honour them. Please stay strong and know that youre not alone. , I feel just as you do why leave me here my mother was my best friend my ladybug my diva I wake up everyday in so much pain it physically hurts Im scared of everything Im all alone it hurts like shit I cant even begin to explain. I struggle with everyday. It's been 3 months since my husband passed. I have my days where just like you, I think if he takes me home tomorrow, its ok. Then I look around and realize I do still have my son and daughter and my lovely cats. I grieve with you Lynn. I went home with a really heavy chest, I cant wait to tell him in the morning (son used to go to our bedroom and hug him good morning and an I love you dad). 100% safe for your site I miss him so much. I did not dwell on these thoughts the first year but now my mind wont stop wondering! Karl thank you for your comment. The message she left for me was, to take it day by day. I wasnt old also I no I wasnt no spring chicken. But there is no clock on grief and it is such an important message to get across. weight I lost prior to his death. I cant function with this . all the time.God bless you. presidential tweets can be entertaining or they can spin me downward as i dont have my hubby to discuss this craziness with. I will be 67 later this year. I wish it would get better and I could smile again, just a simple smile once in awhile. Our 21 year old twin daughters just got back from a movie and ran in to get me. The twelve month anniversary of my wifes passing came and I thought I would cope but I totally lost it. The year anniversary of his passing will be Dec 5. Im trying to figure out why its hitting me again all of the sudden after so many months of thinking I was fine. Life is so unfair. You WILL be fine, if you let yourself be, give permission to yourself to be. It's not a magic trick, just an optical illusion. The first year was numb. But this Thanksgiving and Christmas is much harder without him. Create Art. He died within days of me telling him. You were and always will be the love of my life. I didnt aadd anything vital to this topic but I came across it and just thought to vent a little. Only people whove dealt with a difficult loss can truly be empathetic and understanding. I pray, I go to church and lay in my husbands arms but still no relief. Strange to think I am now living longer them. I press on, hard with old friends and family who look sad when they us. But I think this is probably normal, and its certainly normal for me. We were married for 13 years. I know I will never be the same but hope to try to feel better with time. We were only married a year and a half. Thats exactly how I have felt! - Unknown. I go to the cemetery once a month, but it still doesnt seem like hes there. Mom was it. I constantly think of him and cry because our 55 years together made us so close and we even got to think alike after all that time. Just into the 2nd year since the passing of my husband. I have her ashes in the kitchen, where she loved to be. My sincerest condolences to you with the loss of your husband. Im going into my 2nd year of the loss of my son August 5, w2017.. he was murdered at the age of 23. I did not understand that we had such a deeper connection than others may have. I lost my Dad in February of 2016. 22 years together. A Erwin Raphael McManus. Its the alone time that wrecks me. This pain is not forever. I dont do holidays with my kids or anyone: I cant. I missed Mike so much and felt guilty for his death as I had felt I should have been more responsive to Mikes medical condition. The first year was like being shipwrecked and all I could do was hang on to the wreckage and try to stay afloat as the storm raged around me. Forgive yourself. But they still flow and the empty lonely feeling is so much worse. I got a small wave around what would have been our wedding anniversary, but they keep coming as Thanksgiving gets nearer, and theyre a little more frequent, and severe. I'm dropping a video in a few minutes on this I had always been an optimistic, happy person. It would be rather strange if you did and I think that is so true. Do I really like this person. I still grieving my life totally revoved around them especially when mum got sick. I can only say that with time, the pain and heartache will always be there, it just mellows with time. That I went into flight mode and tried to protect myself from anymore pain, from the hurt. Im in my 16 month. He thought he had a muscle spasm under his shoulder blade, I ask him are you sure your chest doesnt hurt, your arm. My mind keeps going over all of the treatments and hospital stays and all the hopes we had of him getting better of no avail. Im half the person I was. Every night when I lay down I think if I dont wake up tomorrow morning It will be okay.. Not a future without him, because we never lose them, but a future with him in your heart and so much new exciting stuff and people, in your life. What your going thru. Jackie, you put into words all i have been unable to say. I am still here. That is due to family saying their final goodbyes, and now Im planning what next with my life. Biden's order included a 60-day review. giver had to subdue all my feelings of pain. She made it 7days. My crying break downs are now short and fewer, but any little memory can set me off. And i am a non violent wwoman! A whole lifetime of wonderment , joy and happiness wiped out, all our tomorrows gone, all our yesterdays so painful to remember without him, it seems like so cannot cry any more, like a numbness has descended into my soul, no laughter no joy. In the months that followed my mom's death, I got my dream job writing about celebrity and pop culture at VH1, my boyfriend became my fianc, and I smiled through bridal showers and bachelorette parties for dear . So thats what am doing. Thanks for sharing. An Excell ant article..really on the mark. The pain is unbearable.. It took at least a year to realize that the evidence I would get was the fact I held on to him. Christmas, Easter, my birthday, and now most recently we just suffered a loss five days ago, Thanksgiving, the last holiday not colored by the death of someone special to me. The one I turned too for deep discussions, uplifting when I was upset over something and just encouragement when needed. I lost my wife a year ago. Keep going- it will get more tolerable. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. They gave him 6 months to a year to live but my honey fought so hard and stayed with us till 2019. Now, though, it is hitting me that he is never coming back. Kids will find their lifes and live it. Strange to say but after reading all the comments I feel validated. I want to stop feeling sadI am a practical person who understands all people die, the world keeps spinning. The reality of knowing that isnt going to happen is so heartbreaking. My baby girl passed away 6 months later. Fathers day. After Losing the Love of My Life, I'm Dating for the First Time in Decades. Im exactly where you are right now! Since then, I have no clue or direction with what to do with my life. almost 3 years later and i am still wondering. Then she was born. I thought I was going crazy, until I came to this post. Hi my name is Robin and Im having a difficult time 1.5 year post the loss of 1 of 2 of my sisters my big sissysas I called them Lisa passed 9 years ago as she fought 2 weeks in a coma,where I stayed by her side singing to her reading and talking to her as lupus slowly shut down all of her organs.I know she heard me because a single tear rolled down her face while there was still some brain activity but she wasnt coming back and I had to say goodbye to my beautiful loving and kind 47 year old sister who was 9 years older than me.It hit me hard I had no grandparent death to prepare me as I had none my parents were both orphans at the ages of 9.My world changed in October of 2012 in an instant although it didnt hit me right away as I was working 12 hour days as a single mother trying to put my life back together after 23 years of an abusive marriage which failed and we ended up divorcing that December of 2012.I wasnt alone thru that i had Kimberly my other big sissy who was 11 years older than me.We were there for each other to lean on and cry with..comfort. My heart goes out to you all. I have tried to be strong, to work through the loss, taken on a healthier lifestyle, spend time with friends, dress up and put on my makeup, work hard yet I am left feeling empty. Most importantly church, Its been 2and a half months since my fiance died suddenly day after Xmas 2020. I deal with people daily and do not like my job. The timeline is based on data on when breakthrough infections occur. It was hard at first to do anything but now going grocery shopping is getting easier once I am in the car. Still no cause has been found. I dont want to. I miss him so very much. Many loves lost as I mature. Im not saying there is no life after death but I am saying that if there is, that is his journey. I have come to realize for myself that I ultimately need to move rid myself of too many artifacts of our life. You have left me a huge hole that no-one else can fill in my heart. Nothing like my kind caring husband. Sometimes I find myself asking Did this really Happen? And exactly one year later, her mother passed away due to heart failure. One day in a moment of clarity she told me how her mind was working, well kind of. I am 41 and lost my husband suddenly 13 months ago. To survive is just being alive- I am not living. He was another father/brother figure for me and we were inseparable. I too had the months of legal stuff and find things he used to do and now my responsibility rather hard. I lost my husband on 17th December 2016. Last night, I had the most powerful dream! Every moment I remember her, not a single day after she left I did not crymy family/friends say you must move on. Birthday Calculator - Find when you are 1 billion seconds old. There is not a day when I do not think of you. Why Your Dog's Death May Be The Most Difficult Event Of Your Life I used to be the life of the party but that person is gone. He was like a Dad to me since my own wasnt he stepped up and took very good care of me. It has been 18 months since my wife was told that she has brain cancer. She was simply the best person I ever knew. I was numb the first year, but now Its really hard. A week later he was so weak he was hospitalized then sent to hospice and then he was gone. On the way to get my daughter and son. I miss him so much and find myself crying lots.I want him back and I know that its impossible. Being alone is the worst. But now Im starting to feel tired. & loving companion passed 18 months ago. I cant say I know how you feel for every bereavement is utterly personal, but when I mentioned to my brother that I was crying so much and surprised at myself (not being a great crier) he said Well you cant just shrug off 45 years of togetherness can you? No he said and as he sat on the chair with his head on my chest and me rubbing his back he looked up at me and said well maybe it is my heart and took his last breath. Im now starting the 2nd year after the sudden loss of the love of my life. She managed to beat breast cancer but mysterious complications ultimately took her life. So young, we promised to grow old together 10 shortyears. Look for feathers its a sign there near you. God the pain is excruciating , even to bring my mind back, which I dont do, I feel like I am looking in a glass window at myself, doing all the things I have to do and only those things. Robert, I totally sympathize with the unresolved grief. Unfortunately, Im taking anti-anxiety meds on occasion to quell the freak-outs (which I dont like doing and had NEVER done before), but I seem to need them right now. We had met and dated only three months before we were married. Im supposed to just forget. kyonkyon136. And No, I'll Never 'Get Over' It. I was her carer at home till she passed away and now I am broken hearted and dont know what to do. In my mind, it feels like if I had that one more, then I would be satisfied. We had an age gap of 14 years and he was like a father to me. Thank you. Havent worked since. Never feel that you cannot cry about your loss of him. No matter what and how I try nothing really matters. Especially the what ifs and could I have done more for him and remembering his courage during cancer treatment even at the time of his passing. There were many ups and downs with surgeries and chemo, but she lived for everyday with our children. We had 3 lovely children together. It was most recently raised . I get angry very easily, I cry at the drop of a hat, I cant sleep and I just miss him so much. NOT EVER!!!!! She was 96. I lost my son in June 2017. He was 53 years old, and in excellent physical condition prior to his diagnosis. This breaks my heart to read.