I hate groups of people. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. var cookies = document.cookie.split('; '); 2. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. Theyre all in favour of the unborn.
TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes Never argue with an idiot. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14stand-up comedy specials on HBO taught us the power of words and how a person can use humor as a weapon. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. "Forget the politicians. He loves you and he needs money. (?) document.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(stylesheet); _Q: [] node.parentNode.insertBefore(gads, node); Heres all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. George Carlin Sayings and Quotes about life! , Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. This is what we have to offer. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. George Carlin, 74. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
Welcome | QuoteSaga Disgusting that people still make that argument that we can never cut defense but we can cut education. Hes not a cheese. It creates a hostile work environment.
George Carlin quote: I have certain rules I live by. My - Lib Quotes function(a9, a, p, s, t, A, g) { Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. var url; We think in language. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. - George Carlin quotes. g.parentNode.insertBefore(A, g) This is what we have to offer. We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below!
George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote - Goodreads if (window.Mobvious === undefined) { And when you suspend your individual beauty you also give up a lot of your humanity. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
George Carlin - Quotes, Death & 7 Words - Biography var gads = document.createElement("script"); He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. I think people should be allowed to do what they want.
died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. //]]> "Men are from Earth,. - George Carlin profile quotes. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). When you are born in America, you get a front row seat. gads.async = true; Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. if (sourcesToHideBuyFeatures[i] == source) } Electricity is really just organized lightning. George Carlin, 20. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Period. A.async = !0; George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. Right in the f--in head! George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. One of comedian George Carlin's more notable quotes, pointing out a reality of American life is, "It's a big club, and you ain't in it." His words are a simple commentary on the ruling. its only a symbol. var ue_mid = "A1PQBFHBHS6YH1"; We made 'em up. var ue_id = "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN"; Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. }()); George Carlin 'Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners.' Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. They own, and control the corporations. Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. "Events.Namespace": "csa", setDisplayBids: function() {}, "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." ~ (George Carlin). Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. Period. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. This made him outstanding. Just daydreaming. He was also known for his outspoken views on government and politics. } Pictures. The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election. George Carlin, 66. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
George Carlin Quotes - Facebook 8 George Carlin Quotes On Death That Will Make You Think!
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. But he loves you. George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. The Grammy-Award-winning star of 14 stand-up comedy specials on HBO, George Carlin was widely considered one of Americans most influential comedians. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. George Carlin > Quotes (?) Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is considered one of the most influential comedians of all time. - George Carlin profile quotes. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("surface", "mw"); "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music." - George Carlin 4. It is one that we need to function as a society. [CDATA[ Were so self-important. The table is tilted, folks. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. Aparently we're not ready for that! Manage Settings Injuring, hurting, killing, drinking are all part of it because youve lost your identity because you now owe your allegiance to this thing thats bigger than you are and that controls you. George Carlin, 71. Your email address will not be published. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. [CDATA[ When you die, it all stays here. When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. googletag.pubads().enableAsyncRendering(); When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.George Carlin, I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Continue with Recommended Cookies. American George Carlin. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. " George Carlin "Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist." George Carlin "I, myself, have killed six people. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. People cant seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. They're imaginary. George Carlin Laugh often, long and loud. Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. They should be more vivid. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. 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They own, and control the corporations. }); // Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Looking for the best George Carlin quotes? } [.] These George Carlin funny quotes on religion, government, and stupid people will make you laugh as well as think about things deeply. How are YOU going to tackle today? Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. } else { googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); } catch (err) { The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. I have certain rules I live by.
11 Profound Quotes on Politics by George Carlin Nothing changed.George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?George Carlin, I think its the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time.
Quote by George Carlin: "But there's a reason. There - Goodreads "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readTeach them to question what they read.Teach them to question everything.George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Born: May 12, 1937. function isShowingBuyableFeatures() { Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Save the planet! They own you. googletag.pubads().disableInitialLoad(); Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. "Laugh often, long and loud. Everything He ever makesdies.George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.George Carlin, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.George Carlin, There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. George Carlin, 79. His jokes were certainly aimed to provoke others but the hows and whys of it made him so exceptional. If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse. Showing 1-30 of 421 "The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept." George Carlin tags: humor , insanity , lies , lying , self-indulgence , truth 19588 likes Like "The planet is fine. Carlin is well-known for pivoting from a strait-laced, suit-and-tie approach to standup in the late 1960s and early . Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. if (isRetina) { } Life is a zero sum game. George Carlin, 36. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." George Carlin "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity." George Carlin Who the fuck is going to invade the US? George Carlin political quotes may seem sensitive, but they inspire necessary conversations. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. Lets get started!
Quote by George Carlin - SComedy If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, 73. I think the life cycle is all backwards. If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin, 54. "I have certain rules I live by. I think that speaks for itself. He was a true outspoken man that we can emulate in many ways. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sid", "osid.b75ee1b4ab41ae6cecc3e4c769a5b3df"); Laugh until you gasp for breath. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. 50 Best John Mulaney Quotes For Every Comedy Fan, 13 Best Writing Tools for Inspired Authors, 30 Of The Best Dale Carnegie Quotes on Having a Great Life, 45+ Enlightening Quotes and Pieces of Advice, Inspirational & Spiritual Quotes From (365) Days of Tumblr, 40 Progressively Inspirational Sevenly.org Quotes, 45 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think #2, 5 Tips To Keep In Mind Before Hiring a Therapist Online, comedy about a singer who pretends to be a nun, friday funny motivational quotes for work, funny quotes about stupidity and ignorance, george carlin don t sweat the small stuff, george carlin on god the planet and the freak show, george carlin sayings that don t make sense, i dont want nobody fucking with me in these streets, positive funny inspirational quotes for work, quotes about getting screwed over at work. } You should die first, get it out of the way. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. You have no choice. The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. if (a[a9]) return; In America, anyone can become president. } Quotes. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin, 33. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. Died: June 22, 2008 (aged 71) George Carlin Quotes . Religion class was always an easy class. "CacheDetection.RequestID": "RW7VD4AVX1H9239WWVVN", The challenge is to find it.George Carlin, I put a dollar in a change machine. He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. Its important in life if you dont give a shit. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you are born, you get a ticket to the freak show. Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice., Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups., If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else., Political correctness cripples discourse, creates ugly language and is generally stupid., Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out., When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person., If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders., If you have selfish and ignorant citizens then you too will become a selfish and bad leader..