You're going to hug all the air out of me. [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] Please, stand, and do as much as you can. Dosvedoo-dah. BIG KIDS enter menacingly behind the gate. [Looking irritated, she makes her way to BRUCE's side.] Now sit up and look at the TV. Eight times two is sixteen. But here it is, coming true: DOCTOR Well? MATILDA I can be a soldier. A DOCTOR enters. Right. That kids like me should be against the law. What's the matter, Bogtrotter? Stand back, son! . MR WORMWOOD runs over and grabs MATILDA's book. MRS WORMWOOD Miss Honey: and the great performers would instantly oblige with the most spectacular show, just for them. MATILDA grabs her books and runs off the front of the stage. He's going to blow. And if it's not right, What? So, starting tomorrow, I shall bring a selection of very clever books that I think will challenge your mind. You wouldn't listen. NIGEL lies down on the ground. Are they good runners? MISS TRUNCHBULL Matilda: It's a library book! Didn't we? ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. Miss Honey: But the girl's aunt was a mean person, who treated the girl very badly. ACROBAT and ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] "Fair" does not get you anywhere, you thickheaded twit-brain! Why don't you run away? google_ad_format="120x90_0ads_al_s"; Miss Honey: And if you want to teach success, 1. MR WORMWOOD takes a mirror that MRS WORMWOOD brandishes. What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? MRS WORMWOOD . Knock on the door, Jenny. NIGEL [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. Trivia Told me to watch out for the brat, though; says she's a real wart. I'll be watching you, each and every one. [to Zinnia] MRS WORMWOOD They then saunter off. Marvellous. . Harry Wormwood: Do I allow pigs in my school? Dance competition's over. Her life was good and happy. MATILDA said the wife, smiling sadly and slipping her hand into his. She's got no respect, that one. Fortunately, almost everything in Christianity is sin. BIG KID [TAMIKA] An extraordinary girl with a sharp mind and a vivid imagination takes a daring stand to change her story with miraculous results. Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? Good morning, children! It's just pathetic! Might she be a little brighter than her class? The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. MRS WORMWOOD has her leg raised up and RUDOLPHO is holding it against his back. Matilda? Two, three, four. . Agatha Trunchbull: DOCTOR You have to stay inside the circle all the time. Matilda, isn't it? A wonderful new person is about to come into your life to bring love, and magic, and happiness, and wonder! I have suffered in this jail. MISS TRUNCHBULL Mind? My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. BRUCE wilts by the desk. So, erm . Yeah, I got a boy, Mikey, and one mis-*take*, Matilda. YoU listen here, my dear, You're better off raising tomatoes. COUPLES, CHILDREN, and DOCTOR RUDOLPHO What's wrong with me? Look at you trying to hide, silly. Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Zinnia Wormwood: I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. Jenny: Agatha Trunchbull: Goofs I've got a plane to catch at three. Bruce Bogtrotter: The CHILDREN, save BRUCE, but including MISS HONEY, hide under the desks. You will soon (C) see there's no escaping trageDy. She opens a book. CHILDREN and BIG KIDS appear in the boxes to the upper left and upper right of the stage and sing. It seems that there are millions of these "one in a millions" these days. 28 of the best book quotes from Matilda. LOUD! He got a C on his report! Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. No one's gonna care if you don't care, 5. What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. Do you think you could tell me what two times twenty-eight is? FBI Agent Bill: [walking out of the room excitedly] Nobody but me is gonna change my story. What about the Russians? Oh, yes. I wonder why they didn't just change their story. MATILDA A large iron gate made of square holes of various sizes rolls in from both sides of the stage. What car? Loud, loud, loud, loud! Opening lines from children's books to capture new readers, to inspire writers, to reminisce with old favourites. . Harry Wormwood: What is the school motto, Miss Honey? I can! MRS WORMWOOD But I think it's good for grown-ups to have their own space. The CHILDREN thrash in their seats. MISS TRUNCHBULL <>>> A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. CHILDREN 1 You shall be . No, but don't people need good cars? Look at these trophies. The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. I can feel it in my hips. COUPLE 1 Miss Honey: "I'm right and you're wrong, I'm big and you're small, and there's nothing you can do about it.". He did what you asked. Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. Hm? . For each correct answer, they'll move one step closer to our Cube of Cash. What've you done with his fingie? Some will grow to be butchers, or bakers, or candlestick makers. When I left my home, Aunt Trunchbull's home, I had to leave all my treasures behind. MISS TRUNCHBULL So innocent I asked a thousand questions. Please! Now EAT IT! Jenny: % Good show. The moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. See you tomorrow! . Matilda? Mum says I'm a good case for population control. Now, here's a tip: . You're a disgusting criminal, aren't you? You know what interruptions do to my energy flow. The more that you try, No kid likes being yelled at, but it was precisely Harry's ranting and raving that gave Matilda the key to her power. She laughs. Just so you all know, she's my best friend! Agatha Trunchbull: DOCTOR and CHILDREN [after listing prices of cars bought and sold]. MR WORMWOOD Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. 19. MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. . RUDOLPHO starts dancing with and carrying around MISS HONEY, which he continues to do throughout the song. Antibiotics, or . Why would she want some snotty, disobedient kid? . But this little girl . No. That's right, honey, look at mummy. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. A fool? [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] [insulted] front bottom. 21. MISS TRUNCHBULL [after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering] MISS TRUNCHBULL sniffs and licks the air. I chose looks! Young lady, where were you? All right! Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. BIG KIDS approach and start climbing onto the gate and grabbing the CHILDREN from behind it. You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. All right. "tomato"? Isn't there something you can do? No! MISS HONEY You'll be surprised at how well it works. . Get the hell outta here! Wonderful. We can have our cake and it it too! No! No, no, no, no [ad lib. [to MICHAEL] Get up, boy. And if it's not right, AAAHH! [into recorder] MISS TRUNCHBULL Me, me, me, me. Michael: I'm incredible! And it's made of spikes and wood. You slithered like a serpent into the school kitchen and ate MY PERSONAL SNACK! A few! Well, here I am. Agatha Trunchbull: No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. Keep out of reach of children. Since you're an educator, I'll make you a deal. Give my little bumblebee her house and her money. MRS WORMWOOD Make him stop! And . MISS HONEY. . She starts the video screens playing again. Matilda quotes are certainly quotable for movie fans. I'm gonna sue you, I'm gonna burn down your showroom! I have suffered in this Jail, I didn't, I was on the garage roof. MRS WORMWOOD and MICHAEL down sit in armchairs. 8. Harry Wormwood: The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. You two men are going to be in a lot of trouble very soon. I'm never wrong! ALICE and HORTENSIA Well, then stop her reading! My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. MATILDA I still don't see how you glued your hat on, Harry. For this newt, you piss-worm! Yes. What's wrong with you? He dances with the hospital bed that MRS WORMWOOD is lying on. And . MRS WORMWOOD MAN: We'll have to change his school. . [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] MATILDA and ESCAPOLOGIST Pokemon Pick Up Lines. MATILDA Funny Pickup Lines Woman's Day Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? But wrong. MATILDA collects the remains of her book. [Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey]. [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". But there was no sign of the Acrobat, and no glimpse at all of her shiny white scarf. A weakling? Take another picture of our angel from this angle over here. Where'd all this come from? The less you have to show, the louder you dress it. There's nothing to fear. She then steps forward and hugs MISS HONEY tightly. [She murmurs along to the music.] . MRS WORMWOOD If you sit around and let them get on top, you MRS PHELPS And Jenny's outside. But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! She stops in triumph. MATILDA collects two dolls from the house. Students: This child doesn't have a "thingie" . Harry Wormwood: I love my school. Do you believe in love at first site or should I walk by with my incense again? He always wears suits with loud plaid prints read analysis of Mr. Wormwood. In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. Zinnia's on the phone, talking about her kids, reciting the words as Matilda magically writes them on the blackboard, to the FBI agents, as they rummage through her parents' garage looking for car parts, He drags Matilda, throwing the book aside, to where Zinnia is, to Michael, who is choking on a carrot Matilida shot at his mouth with her powers, speaking to Matilda about her and her father, accusing Matilda of putting a newt in her drinking water, Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it, Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull, snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover, appalled at Zinnia talking with FBI agents Bill and Bob, after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers, Harry has ordered out of the house the FBI agents, whom Zinnia had just been talking to, she notices that the chocolate box lid is opened and hangs up, she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely, she shoves Jenny out of her office and slams the door after her, Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart, throws carrot from the spoon.
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