funny responses to what are you doing this weekend

Funny Ways to Respond to "How Are You?" Overworked and underpaid. Need some help actually. It forces the manipulators to cough up some version of their agendas, and galvanizes the friends with vague plans into issuing an actual invitation. That being said, in a couple of guys Ive dated in the last few years, Ive been amazed at how fast and how almost without me noticing they can go from planning and executing dates very well to somehow only being able to function if Im doing it. I just wanted to add that in my experience as a POC in a white majority country its mostly been well-meaning people who have made me feel discriminated against. 4. So when I get a what are you doing after work Friday? text halfway through work on Thursday just tell me what youre going to suggest in the same message. I get you wanting to be met at the airport under those circumstances. LW, in case youre feeling that so many comments along these lines invalidate your feelings about the question or imply that youre making a big deal out of nothing, I wanted to chime in to say that my reaction to reading your letter was an immediate OMG YES can this question please die FOREVER?!. So I know what youre talking about. picked up a shift right off the bat. If theyre someone who usually only asks me to do fun stuff, I may say Free as a bird, as long as I dont have to plan on getting up too early. 8. That stuff just wears on people. And then you get people who let it go there and people who keep fishing (where are your parents from? etc etc because they think its impolite to ask WHAT are you, but they really really want to know, so they know what stereotypes to assign you, as you said, or even because theyre just curious, like youre an object). And making things even harder, so much of this is tonea chipper Why do you ask? to the above question is a soft deferral, whereas a flat Why do you ask may be offputting in a way that leverages a cost. Youre right, adult people who feel safe and are treated well like adult people probably dont react like that. One thing I think might be getting lost a bit in the discussion is the distinction between asking What are you doing this weekend as small talk indicating Im interested in your life (e.g. Once in a college class, we had a group of students who had American parents but had grown up in other countries come and talk to us about the experience of having a foot in two cultures. Another example: My parents both corrected their local accents to American Standard Television English long before I was born, so I grew up with that accent myself. Hi / hello + [thing I want to talk about] can almost seem too abrupt in that context, particularly among peers. They see how often constantly males can throw a tantrum about how theyre being bitches, where the males only complaint is, I asked her questions, and she refused to answer! That alone is enough for him to feel justified in escalating the threats, anger, violence. I think people use that particular question instead of asking outright so they can feel out whether the person has any plans or our open to hanging out before they ask them to commit to a specific thing. Like I also find whatre you doing this weekend to be pretty normal but also can feel very intrusive, but if I had people in my life like the LWs who were using it to try to make me do things I didnt want to do while making it seem like they were not making me do things itd get to be a really irritating and hair-trigger question pretty fast. 30+ funny good morning memes to send to your family and friends So mostly I just want the question to go away lol, but since, as the Captain said, thats not likely to happen any time soon, I thought Id try to learn some better ways to navigate it, and again, all of your responses have been extremely helpful! For small talk, I like to ask questions where the answer can be simple. Thats possibly reasonable to do with a minor child, but youre still acting to preserve a parental level of dominance over her as an adult. Although I have one co-worker who apparently does laundry on weekdays sometimes. Being a grown up with a family, studies and a job, friends and hobbies my life is often busy and so is my friends so we often use this website https://doodle.com/ but then people always know what kind of an event we are trying to schedule. It took some practice, but I always try to give an out for people, especially since I have a group of Japanese friends where theyre used to giving a soft no. I suppose its more of an emotional labor thing? Im planning an event on Day, are you free? Are you busy? "Hope you are doing well" is actually a pretty common opening line when people write emails. Developed with the most common customer inquiries in mind, these responses give customer service reps the power to represent your brand with uniformity, accuracy, and speed. E- Engage in the fun. Ive seen too many nightmare scenarios of late, in the wake of the Aziz Ansari mess, that start out exactly like you are describing. Plus they have the freedom to say Nah, cant on Saturday, but Im free Friday or whatever. Its okay to say you are within your rights to do these things anyway, because you are. They may want to squee about something exciting, or vent about something theyre dreading, but theyd feel rude unless they ask you first. Why is that worth it? Setting that aside for the moment, its apparently *supposed* to go like this: 1. This, maybe prefaced with mostly working or some generic busy thing. Its okay that I usually watch movies/play videogames/read all weekend and those arent shameful hobbies. Especially if I have reason to suspect its just going to be some variation of wanna hang out? if you have something concrete to suggest, lead with that! What are you up to this weekend? sounds like small talk, though it obviously depends if the asker is a known power-player. Whatever hits them the hardest should work just fine. This suitable during the Halloween period. There was definitely conflict where trying to balance and figure out fairness, safety, and compassion were difficult and sometimes heated. Tell me about you. Its a lot easier (for me anyway) to answer when I know what Im answering. Were having a party. Bonus points if you say something that makes zero sense, but you end up getting your family to look at you like a genius anyway. I'll leave you to be the judge of when it's most appropriate, all . I want collaborators, not pupils. The hubs and I do the same. There are at least two distinct why do you ask? which are sadly distinguished only by tone. Your turn to tell me what you have in mind!. Not always). I would think that any event for which one needs to book a venue and/or hire a caterer would also be the sort of event to which one sends some sort of formal invitation, which is not really the case for the situations the LW describes. Also my spouse and I have given each other full permission to use the other one as an excuse whenever needed. I dont worry when people say no to me either. You can do that! I was surprised what a relief it was to move to a completely different part of the country where I at least have the option of blending in. Thats not cool.. (huge smile) I told you that this is our private time and we will not be walking with you! Im pretty thoughtful about when I feel Im entitled to expect her participation, and when Im not. eh, my mother does that. It makes you feel like whatever you do, you are expected to conform to being othered. Its okay that my body needs time to recuperate. ? I had a boss once who sometimes wanted to know if I could work overtime on the weekend, but sometimes wanted to know if there was quirky events on that her daughter might be interested in. Sometimes people respond in a very vague way (oh just some family stuff), which will tell me that its private or they just dont want to discuss it with me and Ill drop it and switch topics. They specifically mentioned 4 contexts where the asker then does go on to invite them to do something or asks for a favor. Its funny I dont even register the question How are you? (Ive lived equal times on the West and East coasts of the US), but I see a couple of UK commenters upthread and when I lived there I never, ever got used to You alright? which, functionally, isnt that different. Ok so Ive been wanting to go to this play, I was thinking of going to the Friday night show or the Saturday matinee, would you be interested in one of those dates?. I get that youre saying you dont do this often and you see it as a minor part of your relationship. What are you doing this weekend? Them no problem, I hope things are going well for you. On Thursday or Friday, its got any plans for the weekend? and on Monday, its do anything fun this weekend? I dont think theyre trying to find it my deep personal secrets, its on the same level as hows it going? or wow, traffic was awful this morning, huh? and I answer at that same level (oh, this and that, how bout you?). I am not anyones manic pixie dream social secretary. I can vouch for this strategy! If the answer is miserable but I dont want to get into it right now, fine-thanks still works. I get lunch with my coworkers on Friday and there is a lot of so is anyone doing anything interesting this weekend? in our conversation. I am fond of: Oh, you know how it is. You are hearing pressure where there is none; and even if there were a little pressure, the grownup way to deal with it is to push back firmly but politelyno whining, no yelling, no accusing, no lecturing. If the idea is to make refusal easier, I think scripts like Im going to this show tomorrow, if youd like to join me and Do you know of anyone who might be able to babysit on Saturday? would be more effective. Might I suggest a they or a xie, my friend. If an invitation to something materializes at this reply, I have no problem saying No. It gives the impression that Id rather do nothing than spend time with you or help you with something (which may very well be true, but is often not a conversation worth having). I think we can get trapped in endless circles of soft invitations where neither person ever gets the push to move forward, so Ive tried to get more into the habit of being explicit about a desire for the other person to act. Shampooing the grass. Wake up late Sunday morning and go ride or play in the mud. I definitely would never say this to in-law oversteppers. I dont find it weird, I think its just whiteness and the safest thing to do is presume white people are going to be like this to some extent, until they prove otherwise. W- Work free. 10 Ways To Say "Hope You're Doing Well" (+PDF) - Justlearn its differential equations, 2. Alternately, I am sleeping the whole weekend. (beaming smile) (speaking a bit slowly) So you go on (big cheery gesture) on your own because youre interrupting our discussion time.. IMO the correct answer to we should get lunch some time or lets hang out is actually sure, Saturdays are generally good for me or Ive been meaning to see Black Panther. Also, if you want people to drop the polite social conventions and be direct with youmaybe try directly telling them this? Catching up on sleep, doing chores, spending time with my partner. If you're worried your co-workers or boss will assume you need more to do if you don't talk about your heavy workload, go for this response. Rather than rushing to respond, taking the time to understand what they mean can improve the quality of your response. I dont feeling hes hitting on me exactly, though I am not answering in a way he likes/expects (am I supposed to be chatty bc Im young-ish and female? Those on the other side never see it that way. I mean, what else are you supposed to do with life? The problem with these is that the aforementioned cousin who wants you to babysit may treat your I dont know as nothing at all, I have zero excuses. You need to know your audience, but it does work well for the nosy-only requests. Its great! This way, you are always busy when those people ask. And when they do, you need to be prepared with the most appropriate reply to make the most of the situation. What are you doing this weekend? I can get behind being annoyed with the sister whos trying to manipulate her into babysitting, but I think theyre reading a lot into the question when its being asked casually. Message Example #6: ( Note: A long message like this example is a better fit for dating sites like Match, OkCupid or POF. And genuinely interested in what theyre doing! I just want to jump in to point out that the medium of communication also matters! He would intentionally just hint around until they offered. If Im bothered by the question, I usually answer back with why ? or why do you ask ?. There are variants but this one is always appropriate in all situations. Totally fair and perfectly polite. Why? (Rememberif she had specific other plans, thats a reasonable excuse. Me: Nope. I have a couple of friends/acquaintances(sp? I slept for twelve minutes while perching on top of my desk like a bird! The people asking the question are rude and betraying their bigotry. Ahhhh the family stuff. Id like to leave you with a couple of last thoughts to consider: One is that you say she has reacted to, We are going to by hearing a command and responding accordingly. There are a couple of questions my Mother asks that trigger a Pavlovian eye-roll from me because I know they are invariably followed by a request for a favor, to the point where if someone else asks me the same question in a totally innocuous way, I still react to it. All of these situation have the same question in them, but they are not remotely all one situation. How am I right now? She gets what crowds people like and is on point with inviting me to the right events. Yep, my wife and I too. For that matter, even confident people can fall into the What are you doing Thursday? trap when theyre trying to sound unassertive. ), but I can tell you that even from that POV, I generally have few expectations of this kind of question. Copyright 2011 thru 2023 Jennifer Peepas, all rights reserved. Because if she werent a family member, Id throw her out on her ear; she sure as hell wouldnt be in my home with all her stuff. But in the age of smart phones I also find Im going to have to check my email before I say yes to that, so let me get back to you helpful. Im glad its not a way to get rid of someone/blow them off without saying so. Certain relatives. Its only a trap when the same people use it repeatedly to rope you in to doing something you would otherwise be able to avoid gracefully. Ive got annoyed enough over this that I have been uncharacteristically assertive and told him that I dont like being asked out like that and that Id prefer that he just ask me outright about whatever activity it is and the date. leaving them vulnerable to all kinds of predation as teens and young adults. It is trickery and so frustrating. It feels like a lot of just Use Your Words advice is setting people up for a shock when they realize that their coworkers or acquaintances are offput by it. I like your point that it does actually give people the outyouve put it in their minds that they can say Im busy., Its what I dothough I often try to say the thing first (Want to go to a movie? I ask that question so I wont impose myself on someone by asking them to do something if they already have plans. As others have mentioned, if I say yes Im free and then they offer something I dont want, then I *really* feel the pressure to say yes because Ive already essentially told them I have nothing better to do. As for rentpart of my problem with that is: I would never, ever rent a room to a non-family member. Ive got a couple things going, do you have any plans? 76 Best Replies and Answers to How Are You Doing? - Trending Us as much as it is practicing not giving into pressure to give an explanation of your schedule OR an immediate answer. Ive realized its very important for us. And in my experience, parents of adult children dont assign their childrens plans (and wishes) the same priority as their own plans (and wishes). This is where you really have to double down on the super-beaming positive manner of absolute assurance. I mean, they might not vote for an actual white supremist, but that belief is definitely lurking there (like, even if they dont vote for an out-and-out white supremist, they still have the belief that white people are leadership material than poc); and they might not say these things to your face, but they will do/say things that prop up model minority nonsense (eg, anti-Blackness in the presence of other racial minorities) and are nice only as long as you stay in your place and dont challenge them as long as you dont call them out or challenge their perception of what poc can do, as in your example. But the thing is that people who were born in other contries than here (Sweden) ask me where Im from all the time. You know the people youre interacting with and their likely motivations better than we do, of course, and definitely use the Captains scripts and bat the ball back across the net with I dont know, how about you? But I wonder if it would help to make these interactions less frustrating for you if you tried not to think of them as someone trying to get something from you that you dont want to give. I was never taught that was the correct answer. This is absolutely true; it IS rude to put someone on the spot like that. I like these types are answers because they have the benefits of: 1. always being true, 2. requiring zero thought (e.g. The Gladys response is a strategy where all anyone will ever see is you beaming at Pushy Neighbor, talking in a hugely positive way at Pushy Neighbor, and so on, but youre still getting to tell Pushy Neighbor to back the fuck off. (Like, Im the kind of introvert who is good with people but I know a few who are just exhausting and who drain my battery super quickly), Could you have a conversation with her about, Were gonna have to schedule when all of our kids are walking to school. Ah. I just want to say I appreciate that, you know, you havent started charging your daughter rent, etc. Thats a very uncomfortable and isolating feeling. person: Hey, hiya, rya? LW, this struck me as a pretty extreme response. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? I make it about my feelings for a bunch of reasons. 1. ), This is one of those times where having a live-in or serious SO/partner/spouse is super convenient. But thats always what those on the winning side of dominance relationships say. "Thank you, I appreciate that.". This is just a funny response to give because it is the opposite of what they had asked just you. Try delaying your answer and then see if taking the pressure off yourself to answer the question or commit to stuff helps you feel less annoyed by this question. Amazing what showering can do for you. Hah. I agree that its fully fair to say things like, Oh, Toastmasters isnt my thing, but thanks! Thats exactly what I meant by a soft deferral. Men who constantly try to manipulate women into doing all their emotional labor is a ridiculously huge problem in American culture right now. So, when I do this I really am trying to get a feel for whether a busy people-pleaser like my Sis actually has time to do something on Saturday, rather than outright asking from the start and leading to her twisting herself into a pretzel trying to free up that specific block of time for me because she doesnt want to say no, Reading the LWs feelings about this situation and the comments, I can totally understand why someone would hate being asked in this way and why it might make it harder for some people to refuse something they dont want to do after theyve said theyre free, but Im still not quite sure what the solution is when dealing with someone who usually *does* seem to treat invitations as subpoenas. But I dont think you can compare me to your dad. 4) "When asked what I did over the weekend, I reply, 'Why, what did you hear?'" 5) And it's weekend memes baby!!! It leaves me an opening to decline politely once everything has been said. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. The kids DO like my origami and I was able to get in some geometry pointers with that. It gives them nothing, and forces them to divulge their plans. But if I dont, I have that empathy worry, like what if they only said yes because they felt like they couldnt say no? I might not feel quite as entitled to her time, but Id probably still think there were some things I could ask of her that shed be wrong to refuse. I dont think there is the slightest thing wrong with wanting something in the way of rent for the houseroom and resources she takes up. It is perfectly ok to want some calm alone time or time with a cat watching Winter Olympics (that is actually great, our cats especially seem to love skiing) and no-one else really needs to know. Bear in mind that you may only ask where are you from once, but the person with the non-local accent is not unlikely to be asked multiple times a day, every single day for YEARS; and POC may be on the receiving end for their whole lives. #1078: Sooooooowhat are you doing thisweekend?, Follow CaptainAwkward.com on WordPress.com. My own mother STILL phrases things the way she did when I was a teen like, How would you like to take out the garbage? well, I wouldnt LIKE to take out the garbage at all! Oh man.I think this sort of thing bugs me because my dad very carefully taught me to ask/invite people for a specific activity/time precisely to avoid this scenario. To them I am this exotic other they feel entitled to treat in a certain way because their goodness and its expression is more important than my real and complex experience as a human being.. Assholes. "Yes, the weekend always . I had a two-day conversation with my cat about vacuums versus lint rollers. Was he not getting back to her soon enough? I would actually be pretty weirded out by a friend who a) felt this was genuinely intrusive BUT b) also would not actually tell me they felt this was too intrusive. Is everyone busy? Ive noticed that sometimes when coworkers as me what Im doing theyre really just politely trying to start a conversation about the weekend so they can tell me all about their exciting weekend plans. You know the parent is deliberately being controlling if that wont work for me gets any variation on, BUT WHYYYYYYYYYYY. It feels invasive what I do on my weekends is my business. Oh, stop it, will you? that sounds fun! Your friends and family will get off the phone with you and wonder why they aren't grabbing life by the horns the way you are. Are you doing anything this Thursday night? whyyyy do you need to know? Great, Thanks for Asking. And then both go on to other things. Helen Huntingdon, I dont want you to think Ive dismissed all your argumentsyouve certainly given me pause and gotten me to think about what my expectations are. I think it would be helpful for folks to give LW the benefit of the doubt that she/he is not taking the time to write in to an advice column over very simple coworker small talk questions. Here in Scandinavia using this question might lead to really strange conversations since people might assume that it is indeed a serious question which deserves a serious and thorough answer (though this varies between different countries and areas). What the letter-writer is doing seems a bit like foreign people not grasping at first that Americans dont expect How are you? to be answered literally. Oof this is hard, because how you deal with it can and will vary so wildly depending upon whos doing the asking of you. So, it's perfectly . My Kid: No (shuts door) In the age of smartphones I also often find that my calendar is inside the device Im holding up to my ear In theory I could ask them to pause the conversation while I check the calendar, but I havent yet found a script to actually get them to stop talking while I do that. I also get your daughter refusing to comply with requests that arent made with at least normal adult civility it was not even a request, in fact, but an order. 126 followers. In fact this letter reminds me a lot of a lady I knew once who moved to the US from a different english-speaking country and took offense to people asking her where she was from when they heard her accent. 1. (via Shutterstock) 7. I have never had it used against me as an ableist term, but I will use a different word in the future. We assume you wont want to share all your more detailed baggage or bad news with someone you dont know very well and we are a little taken aback if you actually do because it indicates that you feel a level of closeness with us that we didnt necessarily feel with you. You can answer a pleasant: Nothing much! or Youre looking at it, breakfast was great! or I hope you get some free time later today, the weather is lovely! without worrying about it at all. and the goal is to just be ok with letting them down when they are the ones who have set an unagreed demand on your time. If partying and watching Netflix is the only thing you dream of doing, don't pretend that you spend your days filling out job applications. Thats fair. I dont spend a lot of time imagining what youre doing over the weekend. 1. 7 Funny Responses to "What Are You Going to do with Your Life?" BUT! Teaching my fish how to swim. The most generic reply to a compliment is always going to be "thank you". Sadly its never QUITE a lie, hahaha. On a walk with my dinosaur. I am admittedly very sensitive to potential power issues, so I have a hard time seeing when theyre really there and when Im just reacting as though they are. I really need to catch up on some sleep this weekend. That way they know Im not going to be up for a 7 am hike, or a 9am brunch, but if they wanted to do an early happy hour Im probably going to be up for it. You have actually internalized a very common social rule. As far as I can tell both we should hang out sometime/lets have lunch and yeah, we should can translate to you are a nice person I have run into on the street or to I want to see you, lets make plans.. Thaaats what Im telling myself about my children anyway. Oh, yes, white supremacy/racism in action. My nightmare would be something like this: Them: My 6 year old daughter and her class are putting together a full rundown of the classic opera La Traviata in the original Italian and itll end at 11PM on a weekday. Everyone knows most people mean it well, its small talk, etc but these things ARE not nice to be the receiver of. I always respond to casual/formulaic how are you questions with something positive, specific, and widely approachable. Can you babysit for me? Oh, Im sorry, but Im visiting my in-laws that day. It can feel and be interpreted as quite awkward/rude/offensive/surprising to respond with just No, I dont want to or No, Im not up for that Of course it would be so much healthier if everyone we interact with had taken Captain Awkward 101: Accepting Refusals Gracefully, but the fact is, for many people its much more comfortable to offer an excuse to soften a no. This is how I deal with it: It doesnt actually mean how are you? in the same way that goodbye does not actually mean God be with you. What it means is, I acknowledge you, fellow human being. In some ways, its helpful to think of it not as a phrase but as a pair of words: how-are-you, fine-thanks-and-you. Some variation of were busy or we have plans works better. What about you? Tomorrow is the weekend! after Ive made my piece clear. Helen Huntingdon mentioned interruptingI just want to say, thats a helluva an assumption. That wasnt an assumption it came directly from what you posted about deciding to take her leisure time. Try these instead. (this one may not be my wheelhouse anyway, no translation needed. 13 "It was so relaxing. And they come up organicallyI dont invent them just to make her jump through hoops. My husbands family is large and I generally love them, but sometimes I just do not want to eat little smokies and chips with 40 other people in a loud house with tons of screaming children. 4. And if someone is trying to open a debate about the validity of your plans vs. what they want you to be doing, it is a refusal to take the podium. It almost feels like if they just sneak up on me with some super fun plans I might say yes more often. What are you planning? and nowadays I find that a great answer. Good luck. Born and raised in the US, and I also think this is a weird question not to answer literally. To me, thats pretty manipulative and when its done I generally conclude that its done on purpose. Another interesting look at how varied cultural/regional norms and peoples own experiences can be. It doesnt matter if those plans are eating candy while watching Netflix with no pants on, they technically are plans. Glad that this day is not that worse. There were several problems that led to the death of that relationship, but communication (on both sides) was for sure one of them. @Helen Huntingdon, that is good to know, re feelings and setting off yellow flags. Then I can pin them down on what, and when, without having pre-committed myself to some favor they were hinting at sideways.